(Warning: skip down another paragraph to avoid explicit derogatory rant directed toward anonymous internet poker donkeys...) I just can't believe how the assclowns that play at these donkey low-level stakes could possibly rationalize some of the idiotic decisions that are made! People that jam with 8-high flush draws deserve VD! Those that call 6x BB preflop raises with 69soooted deserve to have a family member find their body sodomized by a pineapple. The average douche nozzle that plays in the $5-20 scheduled MTTs on FullTilt has the poker IQ of a housefly, I swear. It's fucking ridiculous how bad the play is at these levels: Every fucking hand has five limpers with ATC... every fucking two-suit flop results in an all-in from the fucking flush draws... ace rag is the fucking nuts pre-flop... etc...
Alright, now that my little mini-rant is out of my system, I am going to do my best to stay positive. And I believe despite my recent little losing streak, there's still ample reason for optimism. Specifically, while I hate losing to moronic play, it's important to remember that facing incompetent villains is very +EV! As frustrating as it is when that bitch variance sends me to the rail from a funky beat, I should take some consolation in the fact that my game is head & shoulders above the average villain I face in these tourneys. I really should be able to consistently dominate in these daily double tourneys! I should consider adding another '08 goal, to specifically take down one of these fucking Daily Double things this year! We'll see.
Anyway, I got to thinking about the fact that there seems to be an infinite number of assclowns out there making up these tournament pools, and I wondered where they all come from. Then I remembered a little life motto of mine, to never underestimate the incompetence of humankind! In my personal and professional life I never cease to be amazed by some of the moronic decisions that I witness people make, so there's no reason for me to let incompetence witnessed during online poker surprise me either! Shit, I've witnessed executives make decisions that have had net effects involving six-figure losses... why then would I be surprised to witness some random asshat gift away $10 in tourney chips as a 5 to 1 dog? Simply put, I should not.
I have two friends of mine that play LOTS of online poker, yet are complete tools when it comes to anything resembling even the most basic of logic in their poker decision making. These two clowns consistently crack me up with their "rationalizing" their play ex post facto, and I've now finally given up all efforts on making them better players, given their apparent indifference. I stopped discussing poker play around them, and gave up trying to get them to borrow something from my poker library. It was just an epiphany of sorts when I finally realized that they were completely okay with the current state of their game! This lead me to a conclusion that the average anonymous online poker villain is probably not even trying to get better! The two penis wrinkles that took me out of the Daily Double tourneys I mentioned above were likely content with their getting the chips in behind! Ya know, 'cause they hit their flush draw, so folding wasn't an option.?! (And yes, I'm well aware that the latter straight flush draw may have actually been a tiny bit ahead post flop, but you know what I mean.)
Alright, so that's me trying to stay positive given a knowledge that I'm better than those I face in the daily MTTs that I frequent. And I should be somewhat consoled by the fact that I'm actively trying to make myself better every day, when the average retard is content with their level one thinking and donkeyriffic decision making. The analogy might be a stretch, but I suppose I now know how Bill Belichek might feel, knowing he should beat whomever is the competition, but still has to fade the variance involved in the NFL. I should consistently kick ass in low level MTTs, but damn that football sure bounces funny.
Anyway... I suppose I do have one positive result worthy of mentioning... I was able to final table the Mookie last night! Lost out in 4th place on a coinflip when my 44 fell to the AK of lucktruck, with it all-in preflop. The last twenty minutes of the game really had me understanding the rationale behind Monday's 4-way even chop in the MATH tournament! Going into 4-seated play last night, I actually had a tiny chiplead, but we seemed to simply pass the stacks around amongst us for a long while before I shoved my little pp into big slick. With 1st place taking ~3 times 4th place's prize, and the play really coming down to a crapshoot given the blind levels, I should've probably pursued or at least considered the option of a chop at that point. But at such small stakes, I really didn't want to be "that guy" that pushed for a higher guarantee. Anyway, congrats to CMitch for the win... and thanks to Mookie as always for hosting... and to the boys at BD, no scratch that, "MD/IT Radio" for the entertainment! Good times...
Well... 'Til next time... Good luck all!
~RaisingCayne
PS... GO SEAHAWKS!!!!!
7 comments:
As I've been spending some time going over the "how to use FullTilt" instructions with Peb's dad Fred, (at the age of 1,000,076) and getting him into some low level MTT's and the odd $1 and $2 game, I've been learning that the perspective is entirely off if you think you can outplay everyone at these levels.
You see, you are there with a purpose. To play well and take the thing down. There are probably 20 of "you" in a field of 1000. The other 980 are made up of two groups. The Wannamaker's who watch far too much made for TV poker and see the play of pro's who have shown the 3d-9d as a starting hand for whatever reason, and then there's the "this is free entertainment" group.
These groups are not impossible to beat on a regular basis one on one, or even 1 on 4 or 5. Your skill will eventually dominate. But 19 of your little group of 20 against 980 thrill-seekers, are going to go out of an event in the same manner as you did.
It's just the odds. Something you have to be able to fight through, but damn well can't control.
(nice to see you again)
Oh and another thing !
Da-da-daa-da-da..GO-PACK-GO !
"People that jam with 8-high flush draws deserve VD!"
This is surely one of the top ten slogans for 2008.
I agree with Jamyhawk. Made me laugh out loud (for reals)
jamyhawk is right about the slogan for 2008.
But on to poker. I find in my game, when I let my ego get in the way and assume that people in microlevel tournaments are playing a proper range of hands...my EV finds new lows.
I think the key to playing poker at these levels is to be able to identify the levle of player you are playing and play against their range of hands. That range of hands is sometimes the entire frickin deck.
I just did a post the other day where I notice myself making a call on the river, even though I know they hit the flush...to just show them what an idiot they are to play like that against my hand.
OK...that's just stupid. They won the pot, the got lucky, but now I'm with less chips.
A better player would recognize that they were heading to a flush draw and attempted to lose a little on the hand as possible, while maximizing what we could win if they miss. A tough balance, but isn't playing better then everyone else our goal...not getting mad that they suck?
LOL, I had such a good laugh at your rant. I laughing with you, not at you. I think there are a lot of players who are playing for the 'gamble' or the pure rush. It's much like a game of roulette for them. Ever play a freeroll? I've seen a whole table go all-in. Even though Hoy and Chad laugh at our donkyness in the Blogger tournaments, they don't know how much better the field is in those things compared to a regular ten buck MTT.
Okay...I'd like to ammend my comment. Poker at this level is about learning to stomach larger and larger amount of donkilicous moves by an ever increasing number of assclowns. Hmm.....
Ugg...ain't this game frustrating? Looks like I'm trying to stay positive too. I must have been winning when I wrote that comment earlier. This past weekend just bent me out of shape.
My reads must be dead on though...I got your player notes verbatim! Hehehe!
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